My pictures

End of the eighties I met a very talented photographer, painter, musician and writer, who became my boyfriend. We made lots of photos together. He drew some portraits of me, my sisters and friends. I was his muse. I did pictures of him too, I just didn’t take so many pictures… He was very good at creating. He painted one picture a day just like that – for fun or for relaxation. Just kike I write one blog a day now. Actually… all what he did was… he just “throw
everything out of his sleeves” and never considered that it had any value. He did it for fun and that he would not be bored. He was studying something like metallurgy, which was a far cry from what he really was. His father was a very authoritarian figure. He was a medical doctor and he said once that his pictures are for an insane asylum… for crazy people. His mother died, when he was very little. So… I was playing
kind of a mother role for him.
We had such a good time. We took all these pictures, we were traveling around, every evening we went somewhere to party. He wrote a book about me and scientology (I was already going to Vienna to do courses in this time). Everything was effortless. Just for fun. I started to have singing classes in his house. Twice a week. I was going to an opera teacher too and actually wanted to start to sing in an opera chorus.
It was a sweet love story But all the time I have the feeling, that he was not “the one”. In May 1993 I betrayed him with another man, so that I could have a proof, that we have to finish our relationship. We were devastated. He soon found another girl who he married in half a year. I was brokenhearted. I went back to Vienna and I married next year.
Anyway… when I came back to Ljubljana 15 years after that, I started to write a blog, I published some of his photos. When I came on Twitter, I put them on my avatar. To my surprise I got lots of “proposals” from men. But these pictures are twenty years old.
I got tired of explaining that this is not me at this moment. Cause I don’t feel like this person in the picture. Or maybe I should accept myself and start to love myself again?
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En odgovor to “My pictures”

  1. Tarun komentira:

    Yes you shoudl start loving yourself again.

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