Property, money and patterns of poverty

I was born into a good – standing family. My father and mother – both were working. My father was educating himself all my childhood so he would achieve a higher rank officer which of course meant also good salary. We always went to the seaside in summer, we didn’t have nice clothes, but then nobody at that time had it. And we had lots to eat, in case you forget. We got a first TV – black and white around my seventh birthday or something. We had a telephone long before others because my father was a commander of a military barrack and need to be available all the time. I also remember soldiers ringing at our door, because lots of times he had an “emergency” situation.
Since I was born into abundance I never ever understood why it would be otherwise, it was normal for me to have all these thing. We were the first family to have a big modern car – an “audi 80”, this was our third car. And we were going every year to meet our family from the South. We brought them presents. Our family in the South were much poorer than we were. But they were much “healthier” in behaviour. I never heard any mother “down South” talking bad about their kids.
I was talking to my friend who was born at the same time and I was shocked since he was hungry lots of times, they never had a car and he first went to the seaside, when he was twelve… But they built their own big house!
We never built a house. My father and mother spent all their money. When our state Yugoslavia broke down, we didn’t have any money. My father started to sell socks and things around, cause he couldn’t live with his pension.
My mother was always collecting things. She didn’t allow us to throw anything away, because “you don’t know when something can be stillgood”. So she was collecting second hand TV-sets and old machines which other people brought to her, because they bought themselves a new one.
Her flat is full of old things which are too pitiful to throw away. She also had the ability to break down every single thing she got (for a present or something). But she had it there. Broken, but on her shelf.
She has tonnes of ugly things to wear. What is the reason to have 20 ugly jackets?
Above all… she started to lose herself in collecting little plastic pots for food.  We didn’t have so myna plastic pots before… When my austrian husband came to visit me he asked me if we are prepearing for war. My mother kept all embalage since she needed it for putting food inside. But then she lost a lid and she never had a complete things, since she always lost tops somewhere.
When we were in socialism, we started to feel a shortage of goods in the eighties. We didn’t have all the sorts of chocolate in shops and we didn’t have coffee and washing powder, we didn’t have gasoline so we couldn’t drive a lot. But it was just occasionally.
After Yugoslavia split, we got capitalism here straight away. Everything whent upside down. What they were talking to us all these years was a lie. There was no bright future what promise socilism and about what I learned in school. There were just all these shops spread all over, just like in the West, which we were bad-mouthing about before. We had all what we ever longed for before us. But we couldn’t  afford it. And even if we could, But we lost our country and our brothers and sisters. In my case this was literally.
So… we compensate our heart’s needs with materialistic things, which brought us depression. We got a new country, but we were not at all happier than before.  New country doesn’t bring happiness. We have to find it alone in us.
So… things are not making us happy. They are just
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